Moonlight on the Terrace
by Mommy-says-Not-to
Summary: She dosn't feel anything, that's all she wants to do,feel. She steps onto her moonlit terrace, she knows what she has to do, she has to feel.PlZ R and R.
1. Prologue

_Simple intakes of air_

_A dank dungeon of despair_

_Tears of silver on her face_

_Escape to a happier place_

_White tiles stained with red_

_Covered in the blood she shed_

_Don't be sad, her life's her own_

_The world is cruel and we all die alone

* * *

_

_Moonlight on the Terrace _

She looked out into the starlit night sky, just thinking. Not of anything in general just thinking. She thought about everything, but mostly about life. Her life and the life of those around her. Life wasn't a bad thing it was just hard. She always tried so hard around them; around her friends she was a different person. She wanted it that way. Hidden in plain sight she called it.

Maybe if she could make it all wash away, like rain. She opened the French doors and stepped onto the terrace. She could feel the cold wind cut into her scantly covered body. Her dark hair whipped wildly about in the autumn breeze, she didn't care. She didn't feel the bitter cold she didn't feel anything. She looked across the vast blackness of the night and wished she could fly.

Wished she could fly out into that diamond speckled oasis and be away from everything. She stepped closer to the railing and leaned forward. She felt the wind push against her body with such fury that for a moment it felt morbidly sexual. She breathed it in eagerly.

Her breaths were passionate and deep as if they were her last. Who knew maybe tonight it would be.

She wondered how her friends would react when they found her broken body on the frosted ground beneath the balcony. Would they cry? How would they tell her parents that there little daughter committed suicide? Would they mourn, wear black, or would they be too upset to react? Who would present the eulogy? How would her parents take the news?

* * *

_Early dawn when life is new _

_Everything's floating in a world of dew_

_Swallowed up in this perfect place_

_Life begins to fall from grace_

_The world peels from the fabric torn_

_A shallow pool where tears are born_

_As the day grows older_

_And Eden becomes colder_

_All you can do is cry_

_Flowers forever wilt and die_

_There is no hope and no trust _

_The dreamlike garden turns to dust_


	2. Chapter One

**Moonlight on the Terrace**

**Chapter One**

A/N: Thank you to the three people who reveiwed Moonlight on the terrace, I really appreiciated, I'm sorry that this stories life has been so weird, if anyone read them there were two other stories on the net before, but after a very nasty review I had to take them down and think about the direction I was taking this fiction in, I decided that it wasn't the direction I wanted it to go in, I didn't want it to be believed that I was turning suicide into a joke, because I really wasn't. I feel really strong about the subject, it's a horrible tragic thing, but as I read through my previous writings I did see how this person could make that assumption, so I decided to start over and try to write something meaningful, it might not be to anyone else but it will be to me, if you like it say it in your reveiws but if you don't tell me why and if it's a justified reason than maybe I could fix it, if not then screw you this is my fiction and I will not mold my creation into something that will please the masses, I write what I want to right and unless you have a plausible sugestion on how to better my writing skill I don't give a flying rats ass about you and your stupid abuse.

Oh and I was asked a question about the two poems that appeared on my earliest chapter, idon't use other people poetry unless I really think it applies to a story I write, I don't really think my poetry is anything to really brag about it but all the words in this story we're genuenly mine, although I hold no ownership to any of the characters of X-men evolution, I'm just using someone elses characters to bring life to my ideas.

If anyone read that then even if your one of those hating people then I like you, but still don't bother sending me your stupid not thought out hate mail because if you do I'll have to track down your e-mail address and tell you just what I think of your thoughts on me, and I can get really, really vengful when it comes to people disgraceing my work if you don't properly explain the reason why.

**Frm Myself**

* * *

She had thought about their faces, how all her loved ones would be left alone. She couldn't do that, she wouldn't subject the people she loved to the bitterness she was feeling. She would stay alive for them. She made the decision to not jump, she wouldn't be brought down this way. She was to strong to die like that, when she died it would either be glorious and fast, or painful and slow. Katheryn Pryde knew that she didn't need to die to feel, there were other ways.

* * *

She woke up the next day with sunlight drifting through the rippiling cotton drapes, she had forgotten to close the doors. She lifted herself from her bed, and silently stepped out onto he beloved terrace. She gazed out at the shining world before her, it was so decieving. Thefrost on the grass was melting, slowly, making it twinkle like a precious gem.How could everything around her be so golden and warm, when inside all she knew was emptiness. 

Katheryn stood there, motionless, waiting for that feeling to return. She didn't know quite what it was, but she knew that she used to have it. She couldn't really grasp what it felt like, or when is was lost, but one day she woke up and knew that it wasn't there. Not knowing what else to do, Kitty had gone on with her life, pretending that it was still there, although not really sure that it was ever there in the first palce.

They hadn't noticed anything was different, they hadn't known that it wasn't there. They didn't see how her eyes, that had been so expressive and full, were now empty pools of emptiness. How was it that they didn't say anything, it would of angered her, if she remembered what anger was. How could her "friends" not realize what she was missing, how could they not notice her hollowness.

It was disheartening, and made her want to die even more. If she was dead they would have to aknowledge her, but then where would she be. If she died then how would she ever regain what she had lost. Oh how she wished to be a child again. Children were so untainted, so unknowing, so… innocent. That was it, she realized, she had had it, but somehow she had lost it. Would she ever, really, regain it. Could you find innocence after you lost it. Why did things have to be so very complicated, it just wasn't… fair.

_"But Kitty",_Thought the young girl _, "life isn't fair, when will you realize that?",_She slowly turned fromnature, and returnedtothe place that kept her captive,_"Fairytales don't come true, there is no easterbunny, and no matter how hard a person tries they will never find the end of the rainbow"_

Her thought's were all she had, her wonderings of things she would never understand. It was so complicated.

* * *

I realize this chapter was incredibly short and mostly a long winded authors note but hey who cares I'll update ASP. 

**Mommy-Says-Not-To**


	3. Chapter Two

**Moonlight on the Terrace**

**Chapter Two**

* * *

****

She looked at her parents while they fought, they weren't even aware that she was there. She had been standing in the doorway for near over ten minutes, but they were wrapped up intheir own world. They were stuck in their world of anger, and hate, and pain. They used to hide it from her, but now they just didn't care. When she came home for visits it was like a war zone. The fighting they did was more angry and more violent than anything against any enemy of the X-Men. She hated going home, infact, she dreaded it. Still, even though every time she heard their yelling she died a little bit, she came home, every visiting weekend.

She didn't want her housemates to know about her family problems, but still she wanted them to at least realize how misreble she was. Kitty's parents were making her heart turn black with every nasty coomment or snide remark, and what was worse was that her parents were using her as a tool. If Kitty wanted something and her mom said no, her father would go out, get it, and give it to Kitty right there in front of her mom, and visversa. She didn't like being used by her parents, she felt like they were playing tug-o-war and she was the rope. Why did they have to be like this, why did they have to hate each other when they used to be deeply in love.

At night, when they were argueing, Kitty would curl up in her blankets and just cry. She hated it when they yelled, she hated how her house didn't have love in it, and she hated that all she could do was cry. The tears were useless and meaningless, she knew that crying didn't help any, but she still cried. She would never let them, or anyone else, know that she cried. She couldn't let anyone find out how she was weak when it came to the yelling. She could handle anything else, Hitting, smashing things on the floor, the vase when it his the wall, but when they yelled, she dissolved into nothing, and all she could do was cry.

Her mother finally sensed another presence in the room and looked over to see Kitty, standing in the door frame, wearing her hello kitty PJ's, waiting for entry into the kitchen. Arlene and Kevin Pryde stopped fighting with each other. They re-composed them selves, trying to pretend their daughter had not seen them fighting, oh ignorence is bliss.

"oh, hi Darling, umm do you want cereal for breakfast or I can make you funny shaped pancakes"

Kitty looked at her mother with no expresion,"No, I'm not really that hungry", she walked over to the fridge, and got the pitcher of pink lemonade.

Kevin looked at his daughter, "Well, princess I'm off to work", thenturned back tohis wife, "see you for supper", he was ashamed that his daughter had seen them fighting, he hated how she had to come home to a free for all brawl between him and Arlene.

Kitty didn't care that her dad was going to work, he always went to work,"Yah, whatever", he was never around anymore. When he was her mother was always angry at him for never being around, but the reason he was never around was because he didn't want to fight with her. Kitty watched as her dad left, she heard the car drive away,she didn't care. Kitty drank her lemonade, put the glass by the sink, the picher back in the fridge and went back to her room to dress.

She examined her reflexion in the full length mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom door, Kitty had really let herself go. She was wearing a bulky black hooded sweater and blue denim jeans. Her face had no makeup and her hair fell flat and unwashed. Kitty no longer felt cute and perky,Kitty was scenery. She was there, but not really noticed by anyone. She wanted to be out of the house, away from her parents, away from everyone.

The mutant girldug around in her whitestudydesk, she brought outa pen and a pad of paper. The pen was blue and the pad was purple with bunnies,Kitty put it on the desk and proceeded in writing out a note for her parents.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I really don't want to be here, and have decided to go back to the mansion early, don't worry I'll be fine, you guys have problems you need to sort out, get counselling, or get a divorce, but don't use me as a tool to get back at each other, and just stop all this hostility, I don't care how, but I can't take it anymore. I'll call when I'm ready to talk to you again, don't try to phone me or contact me that will just make it worse._

_Kathryn._

She tore the note off the pad and placed it on her pillow, she picked up her duffle bag and took one last look at her room. There were posters and pictures and trinkets all over the place. She had a pile of stuffed animals in the corner, a bright green carpet and ocean blue walls. She saw her sunflower yellow comforter and her favorite pink "pretty kitty" throw pillow, she would miss this room.

It was easy for her to leave the house without her moms knowlegde, she just walked out, her mom was to immersed in comfort cooking to notice. She then took the bus to the train station, and took the train to a brand new place,somewhere close enough to bayville that they wouldn't worry, but still far from everyone. It was long train ride that she spent sleeping, reading and finishing homework. When finally the train reached it's final destonation, Kitty quickley exited and stepped out onto the platform.

* * *

I'm not sure how is this story going should I do anything to improve it, come on people I need your imput.

**TBC**


End file.
